Lost Honor Page 5

  Chapter Four

  Arianna descended into the dark, airless hold, which wasn’t easy in a long skirt. When she sailed with her papa, she had worn duck trousers and a woolen shirt. But she shouldn’t complain; her plan had worked. Captain Danvers was allowing her to follow her dream. She held the lantern high and surveyed the full hold with a wary eye and groaned. This job would take forever. She didn’t like all of Captain Danvers’s orders, particularly this one. And especially the command she sleep in his cabin. Since she had developed into a woman she had never slept in the same room with a man. But she supposed it would be better than bedding down with the seamen.

  Only they didn’t affect her the way Captain Danvers did. The feelings that assailed her when he stood near or touched her body scared her. Could it be a warning against his dangerous side? Even though she stood up to him, she feared him. She didn’t know this man at all, and he was impossible to read. His expressionless face and stiff, straight carriage never shifted or changed.

  A rat scurried over her feet. She jumped back with a shriek. Arianna immediately slapped her hand over her mouth. She wanted to portray her bravery to the crew and be respected for her ability. A rat would never frighten a man. But she’d never liked the rodents and never would. Her brothers often teased her about them and one night had released them in her cabin. She woke to a big, fat rat biting her toe. But she soon outsmarted them by bringing a cat with her on their trips that protected her from the vermin. Brushing her hair from her face with a trembling hand, she fought to still her quivering muscles. She would ignore the creatures. They were smaller than her. She prayed she could.

  Arianna wished he had assigned her a job on deck. She loved the wind tearing through her hair. The smells invigorated her, and the heights made her feel taller and free to do whatever she desired. Down here the sun never shined. It was dark, cold, and damp. And terrifying shadows played on the walls. In her original plan, she was to hide in the hold of her brother’s ship for a couple days. Now, she wasn’t sure she would have lasted.

  She squared her shoulders. Of course, she would have. She could accomplish anything she set her mind to and the sooner she started this job, the sooner she’d leave. With water slapping against the hull and timber creaking around her, she hung the lantern on a hook overhead, surveyed the manifest, and then set it on a crate.

  Turning, her skirt failed to follow. She tugged and the sound of ripping material filled her ears as a section of the garment parted to reveal a piece of wood with a sharp point. She knew dressed as she was would cause her problems and had told Captain Danvers exactly that, but he wouldn’t listen. She did the only sensible thing she could think of short of taking it off. Arianna grabbed the back hem, pulled it through her spread legs and tucked it in at her waist. She smiled. With no petticoats, which the captain hadn’t provided, it was easy.

  The thump of a feet descending into the hold startled her, and she swung around. Those feet would be connected to a man she didn’t know. Captain Danvers’s words about a man only seeing the woman before him rang in her ears. Seamen were a tough lot and some unprincipled. She would rather introduce herself in a more open environment instead of this dark, confined space. Once they respected her, she was sure they would never take advantage. Despite her bravado, she knew she would lose in a contest of strength without a weapon. In the half second provided her, she scanned the secluded hold for something to protect herself with but found nothing. Her heart pounded in her chest, and her palms grew wet. Should she hide?

  No. She had a right to be here, but even though she believed it, the air rushed in and out of her lungs at a rapid pace and sounded loud to her ears. As feet and then legs appeared, she forgot to breathe.

  But then a skinny chest topped by a face she recognized dipped into the hold. She inhaled deeply of the humid air and released it in a whoosh. “Mark, what are you doing here?”

  He jumped past the last few rungs of the ladder onto the floor and was about to answer when he stopped dead and stared at her with wide eyes.

  What was wrong? Was it a rat? She hopped to the side and scanned the floor but found no scurrying rodents. Then she remembered he had never seen her in a skirt. When he continued to peer at the lower half of her body, she followed his gaze and heat seared her cheeks. She had forgotten a good portion of her legs were bare. Well, there was nothing she could do about it. She couldn’t work with the material swirling around her legs and entangling her feet.

  “Mark.”

  He jerked his red face to hers, guilt written on the surface.

  “Why are you here?”

  His Adam’s apple bobbed. “The captain sent me to help you.”

  Of course, he wouldn’t trust her to accomplish this task by herself. Men never thought women were capable beings. Sending Mark away and completing the task herself would prove to Captain Danvers she was as skillful as any man in his crew, but he had commanded Mark and the boy wouldn’t disobey an order. She refused to ask him to do so.

  And she appreciated Mark’s company.

  “I know what I’m wearing isn’t quite what you are used to, but it’s necessary.”

  He shuffled his feet as he glanced at her legs, again.

  “Do you agree?”

  His gaze darted back to her face, and he nodded with a swift rise and fall of his head.

  “Good. I haven’t gotten very far, and I could use an extra pair of hands.”

  ****

  The golden sun—the color of Arianna’s hair—hovered above the horizon as Morgan battled to forget the woman who had overtaken his mind. Even though he had attended to his duties in a stricter fashion than usual, he could not shove her from his mind.

  Was she safe?

  Mark worked with her. Nothing would happen without him knowing about it, but still his thoughts drifted to the hold.

  Where they shouldn’t be.

  Susan. The images he conjured should only be of her. After all, they would wed as soon as he returned. They would be joined now if he hadn’t needed to rescue his reckless brother. Morgan didn’t love her, but their families had been friends for as long as he could remember, and on her deathbed, his mother had made them both promise they would marry each other. And he always kept his promises, especially to his mother.

  He didn’t hold a special affection for anyone else. His business, sisters, brother, and mother before she died captured his time. Women fulfilled his needs when the urge struck, but no emotions other than momentary pleasure accompanied the act. And he would have to marry at some point. So why not Susan? A woman he knew well and respected.

  And the sister of his closest friend, Andrew.

  Her dark brown hair, green eyes, and pleasing nature contrasted sharply with the virago below. Susan would manage his house, bear his children, and attend to his every need. What more could a man desire? In return, he would protect her and make sure she wanted for nothing. And he would never betray her as his father had his family. Love need not enter into the matter. It would only complicate things. Relationships worked best if they remained simple.

  The sun dipped lower. Arianna should be done by now. She must work faster if she wanted to be a seaman.

  He would remind her of that fact.

  Now.

  As he descended into the hold he didn’t see either Arianna or Mark, but he knew they were there. Their loud voices called back and forth, their tone serious and intent. And then she appeared before him. On top of a crate with a number of them stacked below. His heart leaped into his throat. She would break her bloody neck.

  He rushed to the spot where Arianna precariously balanced. With the racket they made, apparently she didn’t hear him because she didn’t turn. Or she ignored him, which he wouldn’t put pass the impudent woman. Standing below her, he angled his head up. “What the bloody hell are you doing?”

  She jumped as his voice boomed out, louder than he had intended. Fear for her safety gripped him. She teetered on the edge, swinging her arms, attempt
ing to catch her balance, first tipping one way and then the other.

  She almost righted herself. Or so he thought. Until she fell with a cry of dismay. He positioned himself and held out his arms, refusing to allow her to crash to the floor, even though she deserved it.

  The light weight dropped into his arms with a soft flop and an expulsion of air. Fiery blue eyes stared at him.

  “Why did you do that?” she shot out once she caught her breath.

  “Do what? I saved your life.”

  “Crept up on me, startled me, and made me fall.”

  He shifted her in his arm, cradling her warm body closer to his. “You shouldn’t have been up there in the first place.”

  “I was only following…” Her lovely eyes grew wide, lighting the darkness. “Put me down this instant.”

  He liked her exactly where she was. “I don’t think so. You are safer in my arms.”

  Arianna kicked her legs. “It’s unseemly for a seaman or me to be in your arms. Put me down.”

  “Are you issuing orders, again? I could have you flogged for disobedience.”

  He would never harm a woman, but she didn’t know that. Females were called the weaker sex, but in her case, he wondered.

  “You wouldn’t do that.” Her voice grew small. “Would you?”

  He smiled inwardly with satisfaction. Fear. It might help to manage her wild behavior. He set her on her feet with regret, his cold arms empty and forlorn. “You want to be a seaman, don’t you?”

  “Yes.”

  “Yes, what?”

  “Yes.” She frowned. “Captain.”

  “Then that encompasses every aspect.”

  “She really wasn’t…” Mark spoke up in her defense until Morgan swung toward him, his face carved into the mask he used on disobedient men. Mark’s mouth snapped shut.

  “You can leave us now.”

  “Aye, Captain.”

  Arianna turned to follow. Morgan clamped his hand on her shoulder. “You wait here.”

  ****

  Arianna’s stomach quivered as Mark marched away, looking back over his shoulder with a sympathetic expression. She didn’t want to be left alone with Captain Danvers. His chocolate-colored eyes had turned dark and dangerous, and he had threatened to flog her.

  Unfortunately, all he had said was true. Seamen on her papa’s and brothers’ ships were flogged for disobedience or clamped in irons. Neither thought was pleasant. A fact she only now remembered. She spun, straightened her shoulders, and pulled herself up to her full height. She wouldn’t show fear.

  Captain Danvers released her and eyed her up and down. And then his gaze shot to her lower half. He stared at her legs in amazement, his body stiffer than usual if that was possible. “What the bloody hell are you wearing?”

  “What you told me to, Captain.”

  “Not in that manner, I didn’t.”

  Her face burned. She didn’t want him to see any more of her than necessary—she didn’t trust him—but now it was too late. “But—”

  “Fix it.”

  With trembling fingers that flew, she yanked the hem from her waist, and tugged it down. She straightened the garment and brushed at the wrinkles at a brisk pace. Satisfied he could find no fault, she returned to her rigid stance.

  And waited.

  And waited.

  The groaning of timber, the flap of the sails, the swish of water, and the clang of metal surrounded her but not the captain’s deep voice. Would he flog her? Was she strong enough to bite back her screams and not beg for mercy? She had never seen a man flogged. Her papa had ordered her to remain in her cabin whenever he meted out a punishment. But she had heard the moans and cries of the men, the whip as it slashed through the air, and the tearing of flesh when it landed. Her stomach collapsed upon itself and bile rose. How many times would it slice open her back?

  With her legs quaking beneath her skirt, her rapid, shallow breathing and the galloping of her heart drowned out all sounds as her mind conjured disgusting, frightening images. She clasped her hands together in front of her, her knuckles white. How long would he make her wait to learn of her punishment?

  She couldn’t stand it any longer. “Captain.”

  “Quiet.”

  She fell silent again, terrified of antagonizing him further. Arianna glanced at him to gauge his mood and found him staring at her, his face expressionless. She dropped her lids. She was sure the fear that filled her showed in her eyes, and she didn’t wish him to learn of her terror. She must portray bravery and courage. At least attempt to.

  “Arianna.”

  She jumped.

  “Come here.”

  His calm, even, controlled voice betrayed nothing.

  She shuffled a half step forward.

  He huffed in frustration. “Two steps more.”

  Her body almost touched his. Heat radiated from him, burning into her. She inhaled his unique scent of spice, the ocean, coffee, and authority and confidence. Her anxiety now mixed with an awareness new to her.

  Placing a commanding finger beneath her chin, he lifted her head. “Arianna, look at me.”

  She had no choice but to comply. Her gaze landed on his mouth. Mesmerized, an insane urge filled her to touch the smooth flesh with her fingers and feel the moist fire of his lips against her own.

  She must be insane. He spoke of punishing her, and she yearned for his kisses. Tearing her gaze away, she stared into his unreadable eyes.

  “Do you still want to be a seaman, Arianna?”

  “Yes, Captain.”

  His lips tightened. “Why?”

  She had never told a living soul the real reason, but no one had ever asked her why. Only insisted she couldn’t.

  “I met a lady begging in the streets with her three daughters and two sons. The children’s cheeks were sunken, their eyes haunted, and they wore dirty, ragged garments much too small for them. She once had a husband, a fine house, and wealth. When her husband died, they had to sell all they owned to pay the debts he had incurred, and they were left penniless. She had no family that would take her in or a way to feed her children, except to sell her body, which she was loathed to do. I convinced my papa to give her a job, but their faces and situation have always haunted me. I vowed to never allow that to happen to me. I want to be self-sufficient and able to care for my children without a man. Since I love the sea and know it well, I chose to become a seaman.”

  He gazed deep into her eyes but revealed nothing of himself. “You have a family that loves you.”

  “I refuse to depend on their generosity.”

  “Another captain would never hire a woman.”

  “I won’t give up. Disguised as a boy, no one will realize I am a woman.”

  His gaze roamed her face and glowed with a fierce light. “Believe me, they will know.”

  She refused to debate the matter. He could not make her change her mind, and he would not change his. She jerked her chin from his steady finger. “I am a seaman on the Sea Dragon. What is my punishment?”

  Captain Danvers dropped his hand to his side. “Right now, you will scrub the deck and forgo supper.”

  “I already did.”

  “Do it again.”

  Her eyes widened. That is all. She almost collapsed in relief. Hunger and tiredness she could deal with, especially if it removed her from his disturbing presence.

  “You are dismissed.”

  She turned back to the crates.

  “Arianna, the deck is in the other direction.”

  She bent and picked up the cargo manifest that had fallen to the ground. “I haven’t finished here.”

  “Yes, you have.”

  Not daring to press her good luck, even though she was annoyed she couldn’t complete what she started, she threw the manifest on a crate, whirled, and headed toward the ladder leading to the main deck. When time allowed, she would sneak down, finish her calculations, and prove to Captain Danvers the reason she sailed on the Sea Dragon was due to an e
rror made by a member of his crew.

  ****

  Morgan ogled the sway of Arianna’s backside as she marched away. How could she think a man with blood flowing through his veins would mistake her for a male? Impossible. Without even trying, she exuded a seductive essence that enticed and compelled. He struggled to keep his hands from caressing her. The skin beneath her chin was as soft as the fur of a kitten and her lips called to him with a plumpness and dew that made them shine. If she hadn’t jerked her chin from his grasp, he would have kissed her to discover if their allure was real. If they tasted as good as they promised.

  And her eyes, the color of a bluebird’s wing, had sparkled in fear with defiance and courage mixed in. She was brave. Even though she feared his intentions, and he hadn’t spoken to heighten her anxiety, she hadn’t begged for leniency, cried for forgiveness, or given up her crazy plan.

  But was it so irrational now he understood her reasoning?

  Yes. The way of the world wouldn’t allow her to prosper or even give her a chance in a man’s position. Even if she could do the job, which he was positive she couldn’t. The size of her told him that much.

  He followed her and spied her already hard at work, swabbing the deck, silhouetted by the setting sun. Every ounce of determination and energy she possessed filled any job she tackled. He couldn’t fault her for that. Would she show that same enthusiasm when she lay with a man? Somehow, he thought so.

  He strode to the quarterdeck where he would watch over her. He wouldn’t permit her to labor unguarded.

  The light of the day drained and darkness replaced it, but he spotted Arianna with ease. Her blonde, curly hair shone like a beacon as it framed her body and swayed with her movements.

  “Are you eating tonight?” Andrew appeared at his side.

  “Maybe later.” He hesitated as an idea formed. “On second thought, tell Mark to fix a plate and bring it here.”

  Would she cry defeat if tempting smells wafted her way and she noticed him enjoying his food?

  “I ordered Jurgens, Charlie, and James to keep an eye on her. She’ll be safe.”